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Denise French

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Archives for August 2019

Five Signs of Financial Infidelity

August 26, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

Marriage is challenging in many different ways but adding dishonesty to the mix can be disastrous. Trust is at the foundation of any good relationship and erosion of trust will destroy a marriage at record speed. What usually comes to mind when we talk about infidelity is the cheating spouse who’s taken a lover. But there’s another, more subtle and potentially even more devastating infidelity that is often overlooked.  Financial infidelity can show up in a wide variety of ways and can range from minor offenses like that credit card he doesn’t know about to far more serious deceptions like filtering money to family members over many years to siphon off a personal nest egg from marital assets.

How do you recognize when it’s happening to you? Here are five signs that you should watch for.

#5 – You Haven’t Seen Bank Statements or Financial Documents in Years

NEVER let one spouse handle all the finances without meeting monthly to go over your balance sheet and goals. This is the perfect opportunity to get yourselves on the same financial team! If you’ve never done this, there is no better time to start than NOW! If you ask and the “keeper of the finances” gets nervous, procrastinates, or doesn’t want to meet with you, major red flag!

financial infidelity

#4 – Unexplained Mood Changes

Is your spouse becoming easily agitated? Do they pop off with anger or display impatience that is out of proportion to the event? Financial turmoil causes stress! And that stress will reveal itself! In Part 1 of this series, you might recall the situation I described where the husband had whittled away two million dollars in savings over 10 years. The wife described an increasingly angry man who was very defensive about any perceived shortfalls in his behavior. He started a pattern of explaining himself in every little situation as though he were convincing himself that he was a “good guy”. He also became more and more withdrawn. When she would ask about anything related to their finances, he would bite her head off with things like, “Stop nagging me! I’ve got it under control! What are you worried about?”

#3 – A Lifestyle That Doesn’t Match Earnings

Is your spouse a highly paid professional but you haven’t had a decent vacation in years? Does he/she have a Mercedes job but drives a Honda and insists you do the same? Are you on an “allowance,” but your spouse is not? Do you have to ask permission for every purchase? All of these are indicators of financial infidelity and shouldn’t be tolerated in a mutually respectful marriage. It’s reasonable to have a money plan with budgets and goals. But if you are forbidden from monitoring and enjoying the fruits of your frugal lifestyle, it’s another red flag.

#2 – Car Insurance Rates Go Up

If you get a letter from your insurance company notifying you that your auto insurance rates are going up due to a change in your rating, this could be a loud indicator that the other spouse not only has credit cards you don’t know about but isn’t making the payments on time either.

financial infidelity

#1 – Mail Stops Being Delivered

If you notice that a Southwest Visa credit card statement comes every month and always has and then it stops, or if the online passwords are no longer working when you decide to look at the bills, beware. Ask about it, of course, but a very common method of financial deception is to have bills sent to the office or a relative’s, so they aren’t discovered. If you have gone digital, you should have access to passwords and take a look at those bills and balances regularly.

These things are no fun to deal with and I’ve seen this type of behavior ruin one marriage after another. When it comes to money, honesty is always the best policy – especially between spouses. Have a conversation with your mate today and be sure you’re both on the same page.

If you feel you are headed for divorce and unsure of what that might mean for you financially call us for a financial strategy session.  We will help you start in the right direction.

 

Filed Under: Divorce Finance Tagged With: CDFA professionals, finances

College Planning for Divorced Parents

August 19, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

This year marks the first year one of our 5 children march off to college.  Wow!  It happened fast.  This particular child is my stepson.  I am paying 100% of his college costs.  Sound familiar?  Scared of having this happen to you?  While I love him deeply, and am honored to be able to participate in this for him, a little planning prior to our big day would have been helpful 13 years ago during divorce proceedings.  What I am personally facing is very common with others who pass through our office.  Many, unfortunately, are not prepared to pay for these costs.

5 FAFSA Tips for Divorced Parents

make it on your own after divorce

Applying for and paying for college can be very stressful for many parents.  Co-parenting is hard enough without the stress of supporting your kids through the college application process.  Often, divorce settlements don’t detail how college expenses will be handled.  In fact, it’s outside of the jurisdiction of many states’ domestic relations courts.  If college expenses are detailed in the agreement, they’re often vague with limited concern around the details adding additional stress.  Enter the FAFSA.  FAFSA stands for Free Application for Federal Student Aid.  The FAFSA is used to determine federal financial aids such as grants, work-study, and student loans.  About two-thirds of students attending college are eligible for some form of aid.

The key to maximizing the financial aid your child will get is understanding and completing the FAFSA correctly.  Providing too much information is actually the most common mistake that divorced parents make.  If you report the income for too many adults, you could seriously hurt your chances of getting financial aid for your child.

collaborate together

1. Collaborate with your ex

Work together with your ex to maximize the financial aid opportunities for your child.  I know that co-parenting is hard.  I co-parent my kids with my ex and I really do understand the ups and downs of this situation.  If you can really set your differences aside and put your kids’ education first, there are opportunities to work together to maximize the financial aid available to your child.

If you are not able to do this on your own, consider working with a mediator to work through how you will maximize your child’s opportunities for financial aid.

2. How the FAFSA identifies the custodial parent

The custodial parent for the FAFSA does not have to do with who has legal custody.  For the FAFSA, the custodial parent refers to the parent who has the child for more than 50% of the time.  If a child lives with each parent an equal amount of time, then the parent who provided more financial support over the last 12 months should be identified as the custodial parent.  If the custodial parent is remarried, the income of the stepparent is also reported on the FAFSA.  Below is an infographic that the U.S. Department of Education provides to help you to determine who should be listed as the parent on the FAFSA form.

3. Remember the custodial parent criteria when creating your parenting schedule

Consider college financial aid when making your parenting schedule, particularly if there is a substantial difference in income between the two parents.  If the child is with the lower-income parent more than 50% of the time then the child will report the lower-income parent as the custodial parent. This is a common occurrence since the higher income parent tends to work more than the lower-income spouse.  This could decrease the expected family contribution and increase how much aid they’ll get.  It’s worth considering as you prepare your parenting schedule.

graduation diplomas

4. Get prepared ahead of time

The FAFSA will ask for the date of your divorce and other basic information such as the child’s social security number, parents’ social security numbers, etc.  Having tax returns, bank statements, and investment account statements handy will make completing the application easier.

Don’t wait, either.  While the deadline for filing isn’t until June 30, you can complete the process as early as October 1.  Keep in mind that the earlier you file, the more likely it will be that your child will receive grants and scholarships, as those tend to be allocated early on.

5. For the recently divorced

If you are recently divorced, take the time to contact the school directly.  If your change in marital status happened after your FAFSA was filed, there may be additional aid available to you.  You never know unless you ask.

Contact a Professional

For more information about FAFSA tips for divorced parents, or to get started with your application, visit https://studentaid.gov/h/apply-for-aid/fafsa.

If you are struggling to navigate co-parenting your children when it comes to your finances, it might be time to reach out to a professional for guidance. Contact Divorce Strategies Group for a consultation today.

Filed Under: Divorce Finance, Family & Children Tagged With: co-parenting, custodial parent, divorce, divorce attorney, finances

CDFA™ Professionals can help to create financial settlements that work – both now and in the future

August 12, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™) professional can help you address the financial issues of divorce with reports that can help achieve settlements that work today – and in the future. If you are considering hiring CDFA professionals, read on for more information about how he or she can help you.

A CDFA™ professional can:

• Complete the detailed financial work for the client and the client’s attorney, making case preparation and settlement easier
• Provide in-depth analysis of the short- and long-term financial effects of a proposed settlement
• Work as a consultant or expert witness

woman with people in background

About CDFA Professionals

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™) professional has:
• Graduated from the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts™
• Extensive financial expertise in the fields of financial services, accounting, or law
• Received specialized training in the financial issues of divorce
• Fulfilled continuing education requirements

Founded in 1993, the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts™ (IDFA™) is the most established and recognized designation in financial planning for divorce. In order to become a CDFA professional, a candidate must successfully complete a series of exams based on a self-study course offered by the Institute, be in good standing with his or her firm or broker/dealer and any governmental regulatory agencies, and complete 20 hours of continuing education courses every two years.

How a CDFA Professional help a Family Law Attorney?

CDFA professionals help lawyers and their divorcing clients address the special financial issues of divorce with data that can help achieve equitable settlements. A CDFA pro is trained to:
• Produce powerful case exhibits in the form of spreadsheets and graphs
• Give lawyers professional support to make sure they’ve covered all the financial “bases”
• Provide litigation support to divorce lawyers
• Serve as a financial expert on divorce cases
• Analyze the financial implications of different divorce settlement proposals
• Create a rock-solid personal financial analysis for the client
• Make sure the client understands the short-term and long-term financial impact of different settlement proposals

How a CDFA Professional can help the divorcing client

• Separate vs. Marital property
• Valuing and dividing property
• Debt, credit, and bankruptcy
• Retirement and pensions
• Spousal and child support
• Options for the Matrimonial Home
• Tax problems and solutions

The Experts Talk about CDFA Professionals

“However the divorce [financial analyst] enters the process, the participation of a financial specialist can benefit both clients and lawyers, according to Sandra Morris [former president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers]. While the [CDFA] wades through the financial morass of a divorce, the attorney is freed up to focus on legal issues.”
– Lawyers Weekly

“The professions of divorce financial analysis and matrimonial law have a long, prosperous future together. The skilled CDFA brings rationality to an irrational situation.”
– Frederic J. Seigel, Esq.
Partner, Fitzmaurice & Seigel, CT

“CDFAs can provide invaluable information that allows the court to arrive at a fair, equitable, and just resolution – not just at the moment of trial, but down the road as well.”
– Honorable Kathleen M. McCarthy, JD
Family Court Division Judge, MI

“[CDFAs] watch out for tax snafus, help clients obtain health insurance after a split, and demystify tough-to-value private-equity or hedge-fund investments.”
– The Wall Street Journal

Local Financial Support for Your Divorce Needs

Denise French - Local Financial Support for your Divorce NeedsWe at Divorce Strategies Group are here to help you with your divorce case whether you are the client or the attorney. We not only have the professional experience to expertly help you navigate through the divorce financial and tax maze, but we also have the personal experience of walking through divorce ourselves with a complex financial estate.

Contact us for more information and resources on divorce, and to schedule your consultation.

Filed Under: Divorce Support Tagged With: CDFA, CDFA professionals, divorce, divorce attorney

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