Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

Why Choose Mediation Instead of Court?

January 10, 2023 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

A mediator is a completely neutral third-party expert who assists the parties in coming to their own resolution to a dispute. An effective mediator will have experience both with the process of mediation itself as well as with the specific issues involved in your case.

Why would you choose to use mediation when you could instead use the traditional litigation process for your divorce? There are numerous advantages of mediation over court, and not all of them are obvious at first glance:

(1) Mediation is quicker. Court dates are often postponed or could be inconvenient for the parties involved. In mediation, you get to schedule the time the mediation session occurs, and the process can move much faster than a traditional litigated divorce. At Divorce Strategies Group our mediation process is usually complete within 60-70 days.

(2) In court the judge’s decision is binding. Contrasting, in mediation, you have a say in the outcome and nothing gets decided without your consent. At the end of mediation if an agreement is reached, a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA) can be signed which is binding upon the parties. Each party agrees to the conditions and signs voluntarily.

(3) Mediation is typically much cheaper than court. At DSG we charge a flat fee for mediation services and the attorneys we coordinate with typically charge lower rates than they would with traditional litigation. While each party will have competent counsel at DSG in our mediation process, the overall time required by the attorneys in our mediation process is less and therefore the fees are typically less.

(4) Court involves “discovery” procedures where each party forces the other to make information available in advance of the court hearing. Mediation can involve more reasonable and limited information sharing. At DSG, unless otherwise requested, we only ask for what is in the estate currently. In contrast, in litigation often years of statements are requested and then must be reviewed, which takes time and costs money.

(5) You can research potential mediators and select one who has a specific skillset and style that appeals to you. Some mediators are facilitators while others will suggest solutions.

(6) Since the other side has agreed to mediate with you and helps create the settlement, they are more likely to comply with the agreed settlement terms after mediation.

(7) Parents can draft agreements which work for their children instead of following the traditional, cookie-cutter plans of the court system. In our mediation process at DSG, each party discusses their needs and wishes for the children with a family law attorney who then helps the parties craft agreements which both follow the law and fit the family’s needs.

What are the next steps? Schedule a complimentary 30 minute consultation with Divorce Strategies Group to discuss mediation and what options in general may be best for your family.

Texas Divorce Mediation

December 20, 2022 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

A Cost Effective and Expeditious Way to Divorce Amicably

Divorce can be hard on both the divorcing parties’ emotions and their wallets. There is an alternative to traditional divorce litigation which may ease the emotional strain of a divorce and can be more cost effective in comparison to the traditional divorce process. That alternative is mediation. The Texas Bar Association defines mediation as a common dispute resolution method used to facilitate the reaching of an out of court settlement between two parties.

Over the years, mediation has been used increasingly in divorce and custody matters since it permits the parties to make final decisions instead of leaving decisions up to the Texas courts. It also enables parties to handle their divorce in a private environment and create customized plans which fit their needs, not just boiler plate guidelines from the state.

There are multiple benefits to mediation over traditional divorce. First, mediation can avoid a bitter contentious court room battle thereby promoting post-divorce harmony between the parties. Second, mediation may make a divorce easier on children of the marriage. Children often suffer emotionally as the result of a contentious divorce. Third, mediation may expedite a settlement agreement which is preferable to prolonged litigation. Fourth, mediation enables the parties to make the final decisions as to property and custody issues rather than leaving them up to a court. Finally, mediation is praised for its cost effectiveness given that the cost of mediation is considerably less than the cost of traditional divorce litigation.

The process

The actual mediator’s role is to be neutral and not represent either party to the divorce. Mediators are not allowed to give legal or financial advice to either party. A mediator is not acting as a judge nor is the mediator able to dictate any terms to either party. Instead, the mediator’s role is to encourage the parties to reach an agreement by talking through options, considering the strengths and weaknesses of both parties’ cases, the costs of litigation versus the merits of a settlement, etc.

Mediation is not required to produce an agreement. Indeed, in some instances, the parties simply cannot reach an agreement with each other. In that event, traditional divorce litigation is the only realistic option. If an agreement is reached during mediation, the parties will sign a binding written contract that will be enforceable in the Texas courts.

It is a good idea for the divorcing parties to each have their own attorneys who will be present during the actual mediation. This ensures that the parties’ respective interests will be protected during the process as they will have legal advice provided on every offer and option discussed.

Seeking advice

Some mediators are more active in the process than others depending on their personalities. At Divorce Strategies Group we play a very active role in the mediation process. We first meet with both parties to explain the process and confirm both parties are committed to mediation. Next, we gather a list of financial items which enables us to create a martial inventory for the parties. We then meet with each party individually walking through the estate matters and potential division options. This also creates an opportunity to discuss what life will look like after the divorce for each individual – how much will you potentially receive in assets? Where will you be financially? Can you afford to keep the home? What is your tax situation? While we are not giving tax or financial advice, we are providing information to help you make informed decisions. We then bring in a family law attorney for each party to discuss children’s issues including a parenting plan and financial issues with your children. The attorney will also review the estate and potentially offer alternatives or guidance. Each party will have their own attorney who will act as an advocate for them. While the mediator is a neutral party, your attorney is your advocate in the process providing legal counsel and guidance for you.

If you are considering a divorce and wonder if mediation is right for you, schedule a complimentary 30-minute consultation today with Divorce Strategies Group. We encourage you and your spouse to attend the consultation to learn about how this process may help you navigate the waters of divorce in a gentler, softer manner.

Ending a marriage? Don’t get divorced from financial reality in the process.

January 11, 2022 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

Sound financial planning may be the last thing on your mind when divorcing but it may never be more valuable. A lawyer may be your first call when you decide you want a divorce. A financial advisor knowledgeable about divorce matters should be your second

In many cases, a divorce has more impact on a person’s current and future financial well-being than any other event in their lives. Sound financial planning may be the last thing on your mind when your marriage ends — particularly if it ends in conflict — but it may never be more valuable.

Divorce happens in an emotionally charged environment. While in this state of mind, you are making financial decisions which will affect the rest of your life. It is critical to have a knowledgeable financial advisor on your divorce team walking along side you and your attorney. Financial planners will give you the overview of financial guidance while your attorney will explain the law and guide you with legal decisions.

In general, for everyone except the very wealthy, divorce will hurt your standard of living. Two households are more expensive to maintain than one, and if one person in the marriage has been a stay-at-home parent, there is less income and assets to go around. In addition, unless your marriage was short-lived and is ending amicably, you have no children and little marital assets and income, you should consult both a lawyer and financial advisor.

Online divorces are dirt cheap but a good idea only for very simple circumstances with mutually acceptable terms. Mistakes made in a divorce settlement have long-lasting financial effects.

Five key issues to consider in divorce

1. Mediation versus litigation:

A divorce settlement mediated with a collaborative approach has major advantages over litigation for the divorcing family. It typically costs less and has higher compliance rates than with litigated settlements. It often requires much less time and emotional turmoil.

More importantly, it can save a parent’s ability to co-parent minor children after the divorce. The biggest potential downside is that if the mediation doesn’t work, you’ll end up in court anyway prolonging the ordeal.

2. Budget for the long-term:

A clear understanding of your long-term living expenses is crucial to negotiating support payments and a settlement you can live with. That’s particularly so for parents who retain primary custody of children.

Larger expenses such as tutoring, special needs, extracurricular activities, vehicle purchases and insurance, senior trips and college are among the future expenses which need to be addressed in a settlement. Ideally, child-support payments should be protected by term life insurance.

When you come to the negotiating table, it is critical to think about your expenses not just two to three years after divorce but ten and fifteen years out. The more you can discuss about current and long-term needs — particularly if there are children involved — the better.

3. Watch your assets:

Marital assets are not all created equal. A savings account with $100,000 is worth much more than a joint retirement account that will eventually be taxed or illiquid equity in a home of that amount. Make sure you consider the liquidity and after-tax value of all assets and the different risks that they present.

Holding onto the family home could be a very heavy financial burden. While it may be a source of comfort in a difficult time, it could come back to haunt you. Mothers with custody of children often understandably want to keep the house. Then they come to us, and we walk them through the costs to upkeep the home and a plan to do so, if possible. We also find it valuable to have older homes inspected to uncover are any potential large costs ahead such as termite damage, foundation repair or major plumbing repair.

If there are more complicated marital assets such as private equity, restricted stock, business interests or even cryptocurrency holdings, an advisor is essential to evaluate and advise on those assets.

4. Mind your taxes:

Like everything else in life, divorce settlements have big tax implications. Understanding how different assets and income streams are taxed is crucial to the equitable division of assets.

It is also important to be aware of less obvious items such as pre-paid taxes which may have been paid already out of the marital pot but could be refunded to or used by a former spouse or tax-loss carry forward benefits if a large amount of non-qualified brokerage funds are owned.

5. Update your life:

The key things to address when your divorce settlement becomes final include updating your will, powers of attorney, beneficiaries, and other estate-planning documents to reflect your changed circumstances.

If you have been out of the workplace for an extended period, think about whether you need to return to it and if you need training to help you get back to work. If you need training, it is wise to research how much it will cost and negotiate for that in your divorce. It’s hard telling a stay-at home parent that they should go back to work but in some cases they really should. A person’s largest asset may be their earning capability. It can help you add to your nest egg and enable a better retirement.

A knowledgeable, experienced divorce financial planner can show you where you will be with or without returning to the workforce and if you are working, help you readjust your retirement plan to get back on track.

Divorce Strategies Group, LLC is a full financial planning firm for those engaging in divorce with a forensic accounting arm. We understand the laws as they relate to finance in divorce, and we understand financial planning. In conjunction with our sister firm, French Financial Group, we can help you walk through divorce and emerge with a strong financial plan for your future. Please call us at 281-505-8177 or reach us online to schedule your complimentary consultation today.

Retaining Your Assets in Divorce

June 28, 2021 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

After years of working with those going through divorce, we have found individuals with two factors really thrive during divorce. Those who have (1) knowledge of the relevant facts and (2) realistic expectations are the most ‘successful’ in their divorce. Without accurate accounting of your finances, you may find that you cannot afford your life, or you could jeopardize the retirement that you have worked so hard for. Conversely, you may find you have more than enough in assets to maintain your lifestyle, and you are secure financially. With higher-than-realistic expectations you may spend thousands of dollars (or hundreds of thousands) only to find a fair division is 50/50 (or 53/47 but not the 80% you wanted). For those going through a “gray divorce” or spouses who have worked at home, the financial ramifications can be even more significant for either mistake.

Hurt feelings and fear often combat rational thought – which we totally understand – we were the same way. Divorce is scary! With that in mind, we have created 7 tips to help those in divorce walk away with your financial future intact after you go your separate ways.

Budget your Post-Divorce Lifestyle.

Living separately can be scarier than living together – even if you were miserable! To ease the fear, remember knowledge is power. It is imperative to know your monthly income and expenses. This is particularly important if one spouse has been paying the bills and managing the household finances alone.

Figure out your immediate needs and go from there. At Divorce Strategies Group we walk couples through their post-divorce budget early in the divorce process. It is important that clients know realistically what they can spend each month following the divorce. This sets them up for a secure financial future and gives them peace of mind. It can also help you negotiate from a position of power, not fear.

Manage Costs During the Divorce

A typical litigated Texas divorce ranges between roughly $20,000 to $40,000 or more. That is no small chunk of change to most couples. We have been witness to divorces costing $60,000, $80,000 and more (reference unrealistic expectations and lack of knowledge above).

One way to mitigate the financial fallout of divorce is to choose early mediation over litigation. Mediation is a process in which a mediator helps divorcing couples reach an amicable settlement. The mediator facilitates communication between the parties to promote settlement and understanding between them. Mediation addresses child custody, child support, visitation, spousal support, and property division. The mediator does not act as a judge, attorney, or financial advisor, but assists the spouses in reaching a voluntary agreement. At Divorce Strategies Group our Mediation Process involves a team of experts that will work with you and your spouse to negotiate a divorce settlement that won’t break the bank.

The issue many attorneys, rightly so, have with mediation is it is done without guidance of someone who understands the law or someone who understands how finances work relevant to divorce. These are both valid concerns. We have seen couples negotiate a “do it yourself” divorce only to find they owe thousands later due to mistakes or someone lost out of hundreds of thousands because the agreements were not able to be legally completed (such a restricted stock plan) or the property documentation (such as a pension plan) was not completely correctly, thus the agreement is not enforceable.

To make sure you do it right, we include a Family Law Mediator Attorney with a Divorce Financial Expert to provide the right guidance to you the first time. Visit Divorce Strategies Group for more information on our process.

Eradicate Debt

If you have joint debt with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, it is best to pay it off before finalizing the divorce.

Shared debts remain both party’s obligation in the eyes of a lender, even if the divorce settlement says only one spouse is responsible for paying it back. If the responsible spouse fails to make the payments, any defaults will show up on the other spouse’s credit history.

If the debt cannot be paid off pre-divorce and becomes only one spouse’s responsibility, the other should continue to have access to the account’s history to make sure it is being paid as agreed. Better yet, have an attorney create an enforcement action in which you can take over the property or some other property if you are not able to be removed from the debt and your spouse, who was assigned the debt, fails to pay. An attorney can help you make payment of the debt in your name contractual or binding in some other format. Debt in divorce can be tricky It is wise to seek legal and financial guidance if you are dealing with large amount of debt or a significant debt (like a home mortgage).

Kids are Expensive

Kids can cost a lot, especially when you have not budgeted their future needs into the equation. Be sure to consider things like cars, car insurance, private school tuition, day care costs, summer camps, extracurricular activities, and even smaller things like school lunch accounts and back to school shopping. These costs add up over time.

If you have children close to graduating from high school, it is important to be very clear about what each parent is willing to cover in college costs or any other expenses. Another discussion to have is who will cover health care costs for your children after they graduate high school. Who will the insurance fall under, who will pay for it, and how will out-of-pocket costs be covered from the time your child graduates from high school until they are fully on their own as a working adult? Family courts do not cover this time period, but parents sure do, and contractual agreements can be made between the parties regarding this no man’s land of time for older kids needs.

Divorce during Retirement

Gray divorce is defined as divorcing couples who are 50 and older, and they are on the rise. These couples have their own unique situations and needs for the future. There may be annuities, retirement plans and life insurance policies. We have had couples retire during the divorce which also brings a multitude of tax issues.

One way to facilitate a smooth transition after divorce is to hire a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. We work closely with couples during and after divorce to make sure they understand the assets they own, what income can be derived from investments and help them build a firm financial foundation.

Divorce for those over 50 is a critical life situation and likely the biggest financial transaction of your lifetime. Your divorce could determine your lifestyle for the remainder of your years. This is not to scare you, it is just important to have counsel if you are in this situation.

Receiving the Assets You Were Awarded

A common assumption people have during a divorce is they automatically own an asset the court has awarded to them. Just because you were awarded the asset, does not mean you now own it. There is a process to walk through after the divorce to take ownership and control of the property you were awarded weather that property was a home, a brokerage account, a bank account, or a retirement fund. Divorce Strategies Group members can walk you through the steps you need to take to claim the assets you were awarded. This is very important to do as soon as possible so your spouse cannot improperly move or hide funds you were awarded. It is also important to complete the Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDRO’s) while your attorney is involved as these need to be filed with the courts and all parties (you, your ex-spouse and your attorneys as well as the judge) need to sign it.

Plan for Peace of Mind

The goal we have for all our clients at Divorce Strategies Group is financial peace of mind. When working with us, you will know what bills you need to pay every month and how much of your disposable income you can spend. You can spend your money in freedom because you know you have a plan for your budget, taxes, and investing. We can also help you adjust your financial plan if you experience new significant life changes.

Planning and budgeting are not fun concepts, but the fruits of these labors can provide a lot of fun (and security) in your future!!

Schedule a complimentary consultation with Divorce Strategies Group today. No matter what phase of the process you are in – just starting, in the midst of divorce and have financial questions or wrapping it up and looking ahead toward your future. We are here to help you thrive after divorce and move on to the next phase with confidence, strength and hope.

The Mediation Process – How It Works

June 7, 2021 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

Mediation is a structured, interactive process where an impartial third-party helps disputing parties in resolving conflict using specialized communication and negotiation techniques. The mediator is there to aid the parties in reaching their own agreement. The mediated settlement agreement is not a decision by the mediator as to how the divorce should be decided; it is an agreement between the parties as to how the parties’ issues are to be resolved. The mediator’s function is to use the mediator’s legal and financial knowledge as well specialized negotiating skills to facilitate a resolution for the parties.

Usually what happens at mediation is both parties meet with the mediator at the mediator’s office or a special mediation center. Almost all mediators now immediately divide the parties into different rooms. Typically, the mediator will start out with the Petitioner and will spend an hour or more learning about the particulars of the Petitioner’s case. Many times, the mediator will not even try to get an offer of settlement out of the Petitioner during the first meeting. Then the mediator will meet with the Respondent for a similar period of time. This way the mediator becomes completely familiar with the issues that exist between the parties.

With Divorce Strategies Group mediation process, we meet with the parties several times before mediation day to learn about your situation, your wants, and your wishes. We walk through your finances – what you own, what you owe and different options for division. In addition, we meet with each party prior to mediation to discuss the decisions you will need to make with your children in a formal parenting plan during mediation. With Divorce Strategies Group mediation process, we provide two mediators – a divorce financial mediator who understands even the most complex estate issues as well an experienced family law attorney mediator to walk through parenting plan options and oversee the entire legal process. You will have two experienced mediators – each with a different area of expertise, helping you with the decisions you need to make to achieve a resolution to your dispute.

During mediation, the mediator(s) will go back and forth between the parties negotiating a settlement. Skilled mediators can provide particularly helpful suggestions to the parties when an impasse on a particular situation begins to arise. Many times, people go into mediation with the attitude of “my way or the highway.” A good mediator can usually deflect this type of attitude by making suggestions for settlement that neither party thought of before mediation. If an agreement is reached at mediation, then the mediator prepares a Mediated Settlement Agreement which is signed by the parties and becomes binding.

Many people serving as mediators are highly experienced attorneys. In order to be a mediator, an attorney must undergo substantial training in the art of negotiation and the ethics of mediation. Another person who is often a mediator is someone with substantial financial knowledge in the specialized realm of divorce finance as well as specific training in family law mediation. At Divorce Strategies Group, we provide both.

There are usually a few rules that go with mediation. First, everything that occurs at mediation is confidential and cannot be used in court. The mediator(s) can never be brought into court to testify one way or another. Furthermore, the parties are barred by the court from stating in court what occurred at mediation. Secondly, when you are discussing your case with the mediator, the mediator is free to assume that whatever you tell the mediator may be discussed with the other side. However, if you have a certain piece of information that you believe critically shapes your case, and the other side does not have that information, and you do not want them to learn about it, you should be sure and tell the mediator that you do not want the mediator to disclose that information to the other side. In that case, the mediator(s) will keep your information private.

As I pointed our earlier, once you sign a mediated settlement agreement it is irrevocable and binding, and a party is entitled to ask the court to enter a final decree of divorce based upon the mediated settlement agreement. That means at the end of mediation day, your agreements are binding. There are no “take backs”. The negotiations – aka the fight — is over. At this point, we usually help the parties decide which accounts are going to be used by whom, timelines for transitioning of accounts and even a timeline for moving out of the marital home if needed and any other pertinent issues.

Usually, a mediated settlement agreement is a shorthand rendition of the parties’ agreement. Afterwards, an attorney will prepare a Final Decree of Divorce based off the mediated settlement agreement and submit it to the court for entry by the court.

Usually, mediation is an all-day affair. At Divorce Strategies Group, we try to walk into mediation knowing where agreements already exist and where the disputes will arise. We then focus on helping the parties walk through the disputes in order to find a win-win solution or a compromise everyone can live with. That way, we are not in mediation late into the evening when judgement is not always clear, and tensions are higher.

At Divorce Strategies Group, our goal is to help parties achieve a settlement for their family and their finances in a softer, gentler fashion. We strive to help you achieve a resolution within a few short months without catastrophic loss to the estate and nearly a year wasted in litigation. For more information on Divorce Strategies Group mediation process, please visit us at Divorce Strategies Group. We look forward to helping you!

Oh, Divorce Debt. How Can I Ever Repay You?

May 26, 2021 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

Q: My husband and I have a lot of assets—but we also have a lot of credit card bills. Everyone talks about dividing assets in a divorce settlement, but there’s not much said about debt. How does that work in terms of who pays what?

A: You’re so smart to ask this question! Most people don’t realize that during divorce, dividing debt is just as important as dividing assets. Although most states handle property and debt division differently, you can expect debt under a national contract (like with Visa) to be pretty consistent. (Pssst. See our friendly Texas Family Law Code about debt and divorce for specific details).

Here are a few tips to help you get started….

Credit card companies are blind. They don’t care if you’re divorced; they just want to get paid. Broadly put: You are responsible for whatever is in your name. If you have several joint accounts, it’s best to pay those accounts with marital assets and either remove your spouse’s name or remove your name so that there is only one owner going forward. The fees for these transactions are small compared to the headache and hassle of keeping tabs on an account you no longer control (but are on the hook for).
The cleanest option for mortgage debt is to sell the house and split the money. If that’s not a viable option, one spouse can “buy the other out” with a buyout refinance (if you want to keep the home you would, ideally, be able to qualify for a loan on your own). This will not ever be mandated by your divorce decree (even the great state of Texas cannot make a third party lender accept you).

If a refinance cashout isn’t on the table, one of you can stay in the house while both of you remain on the mortgage. Instead of a clean break from the debt, your spouse would have a “Deed to Secure Assumption,” which can be drafted by an attorney, to provide a layer of protection for the person who isn’t living in the home. This arrangement isn’t for everyone, but it can be the easiest option in tight markets. Details of this type of deed should be discussed with your legal counsel.
Timing matters, in terms of when the debt was incurred. If debt was incurred before the marriage, then it belongs solely to the spouse that created that debt. If incurred during the marriage, then both spouses are equally responsible. There may be special situations where debt was incurred as a result of paramour activity or “wasting” of marital assets. If that is the case, then an attorney can help you fight that battle during the pendency of your divorce.

Now is the best time to get a handle on what you owe to whom. To cover both: Run a credit report on yourself and ask your spouse to do the same. This free report gives a current and comprehensive snapshot of where you are with your debt, as well as your credit score—both will come in handy when it comes to negotiating the terms of your divorce.

In addition, we recommend calling every credit card company you have an account with to verify who is actually responsible for the account and who is just an authorized user. You want to gather all the information you can today in order to protect yourself in the future.

And don’t forget—we can help! Contact Divorce Strategies Group for a complimentary consultation to see how we can help you sort through the maze of divorce finance.