Family & Children

Navigating College Costs in Divorce

June 5, 2023 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

It’s the time of year when graduating high school seniors are looking forward to going off to college. Many spend the summer planning their dorm décor and worrying about roommates while parents plan for footing the bill. Negotiating college costs as co-parents can be stressful for the parents and the children if there is animosity. Presented herein are several ideas to address higher education costs for children with divorced or divorcing parents.

Start Saving Early

A 529 Education Savings Plan can be tremendously helpful by allowing you to fund a child’s college savings account allowing it to grow over time. The money in a 529 plan grows on a tax-deferred basis until it is withdrawn. If the money is used for qualified education expenses as defined by the IRS, those withdrawals won’t be subject to either state or federal taxes. The current IRS rules on qualified education expenses are fairly broad and roomy to include not only tuition but also room and board, food plans, necessary college items such as required books and electronics as well as costs to start a business in your field of study while in school. They also include many trade or vocational schools.

Since a 529 education fund is a custodial account only one parent can be the owner. The child is the beneficiary. The other parent can be a successor owner, meaning if the original owner passes away the other parent automatically becomes the owner. We recommend this with divorcing parents. Even though only one person can own the 529 plan, it is common in our experience for the other parent to receive statements at their request or have log in information so they can view the account. We also suggest you dictate in the decree what the funds will be used for and keep the definition close to what the IRS allows as the laws can change. For example, language which states these funds will be used first and to the fullest extent allowable under IRS laws for all eligible higher education related costs for the child of this marriage. Also ask your attorney about language which states these funds are ONLY to be used for higher education (or other qualified education costs up to grade 12) for the children of this marriage – and for no other purpose or persons.

We have also seen it mandated that one parent or both parents contribute over the years to their child’s 529 plan. The amounts and parent, or parents to contribute have been varied and dependent on their willingness to help their children with college, state this in a divorce decree and their ability to do so. If this is a choice you make, it can be written into the decree or decided informally without the decree. This is a discussion to have with your attorney.

What happens if your child doesn’t use all of the 529 funds? We suggest writing a solution to this dilemma in your decree. You have options if your child does not use all the funds set aside in a 529 plan for their education. You can return the monies to the parents or redeem the funds and give cash to your children. Both of these options involve a 10% penalty and taxation on the earnings portion (not the principal, only the earnings). Another option is to transfer the funds to another beneficiary or person to use the education funds. With a 529 plan, you’re allowed to change the beneficiary at any time to one of your beneficiary’s eligible relatives. Examples of eligible relatives include siblings and step siblings, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, and in-laws. Spouses of these family members are often considered eligible beneficiaries as well. Again, we recommend writing in your decree that these funds will be used only for children of your marriage. Another option is to roll the 529 funds into a ROTH IRA for the beneficiary over time. The Secure Act 2.0, which was signed into law on December 29, 2022, allows 529 college savings plan funds (up to a $35,000 lifetime limit) to roll into a Roth IRA for the 529 beneficiary penalty and tax free. The 529 account must have been opened for at least 15 years and the funds must be moved to a Roth IRA in the name of the 529 beneficiary. The annual rollover limit is pegged to the yearly IRA contribution limit, which includes contributions made to any IRA. In addition, the amount rolled over plus annual IRA contributions cannot exceed the designated beneficiary’s earned income for the year. The IRS will likely clarify this process in more detail but as it stands this could be a helpful tax and financial planning tool.

No Savings Plan

If your child is nearing college age and you have not saved over the years, don’t worry. There are other options. Try having a civil conversation with their other parent. This may help tremendously (or not but at least you tried!) Community college for the first two years can significantly cut costs down for your child’s overall education. Your child can live at home with you to save costs and go to a program such as Lone Star College for 2 years at a substantially reduced rate compared to a 4-year university. They can work part time potentially to help pay for their car, gas, and other needs. Third, look to FAFSA or Free Application for Federal Student Aid. This is almost mandatory in today’s age. Entering your child into the FAFSA program enables them to receive grants or loans. We encourage all seniors in high school to contact the school they wish to attend and talk to the financial aid office. They have experts at each school who can help you successfully navigate the FAFSA program and discuss how to work the system for divorced parents. If you are a low-income parent, you may have free monies which you do not have to repay available for your child. Talk to someone in the financial aid office and become educated on navigating FAFSA.

At Divorce Strategies Group we understand how difficult divorce can be. From financial mediation to financial planning, we can help take the fight out of your future. Call us or click here for a complimentary consultation.

How To Tell Kids You’re Getting Divorced

May 22, 2023 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

Divorce in and of itself tends to be a difficult, emotional process. It can be even more distressing when children are involved. Often, telling your children the divorce is happening can be especially challenging. In our work we have found many parents struggle with how and when to tell their children about divorce. We recommend you consult with a licensed family therapist, a divorce coach or parent facilitator before taking this step. However, here are a few tips to help you prepare for this conversation.

Make a Plan

Working with divorcing individuals and couples over the years, we have found a plan for this conversation leads to the best outcomes. Whether both parents are breaking the news together or you’ve been tasked with doing it alone, plan and rehearse it prior to having the conversation with your child. You will want to consider how you will react to your child’s reaction. Some children become quite upset while others become quiet and ask for space. A plan for dealing with their reaction is important.

You can also practice by creating and answering questions that you think will be asked. The question “Why” often arises with our clients when they have this talk. That answer needs to be known upfront and ideally, agreed upon by both parents.

You are divorcing your spouse, but your children did not ask for this – placing their needs above yours to be right or justified, we feel, is critical. They love and need you both.

Decide When and Where to Tell Them

You want to set a time and place for this conversation when everyone is most likely to be calm and collected. Pick a time when you and your children will be unhurried and able to focus on what you’re saying. Make sure little kids aren’t hungry, overtired, overstimulated, or in need of the bathroom. Ideally, you want to have the conversation in the child’s home, as this is where your child is more likely to feel comfortable and safe.

Share the News Together

It’s helpful for both parents to sit down and share this news together. Presenting a united front can be reassuring to the child and ensures that they receive one set of information about the divorce rather than hearing conflicting viewpoints.

Ideally, the more you can discuss and agree on together ahead of time, the better. However, there are situations where that can’t happen, such as mental illness, abuse, or other issues that make it impractical or not safe to have both parents in the same room for this conversation. If that is your situation, do your best to inform your child of what is happening in as straightforward a manner as possible.

Make It Age-Appropriate

Kids will process the news differently at every age, so you’ll need to modify your conversation based on your child’s developmental abilities. You know your child best, so be sure to tailor what you say to their needs and level of understanding.

The younger the child, the less concept of marriage and divorce they have, so the simpler your language needs to be. Focus on basics, such as if one parent is moving out, what will happen with your pets, and when the child will spend time with each parent. Keep it short, while letting the child know they can ask any questions they have.

However, even as you might give more information and your child may ask more complex or personal questions, be sure to avoid placing blame on one parent. You don’t want the child to feel like they must choose sides.

Listen to Your Kids

Once you’ve said what you need to say, turn over the conversation to your child. Be prepared to listen and support your child in whatever way is needed. Allow for an open discussion where the child can freely express their feelings (including crying if necessary) and they can ask any questions they have.

Next steps

Divorce Mediation is a great option when it comes to navigating divorce with minor children. Our goal at Divorce Strategies Group is to help both parents build and maintain a positive, effective co-parenting relationship. We work with family focused attorneys and together we walk hand in hand with you and your spouse to create the ideal parenting plan. Our office is located at: 1725 Hughes Landing Blvd., The Woodlands, TX 77380. Contact us today to schedule a complimentary consultation.

Taxes & Children: What Divorcing Parents Need to Know

May 16, 2023 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

Taxes can be a major concern for parents. The ability to claim children as dependents can potentially affect the amount of taxes a single parent will be refunded or pay. Here’s what you need to know about claiming children on your taxes when divorced and the child tax credit. This article does not address the potential Earned Income Tax Credit.

Claiming Children on Taxes & Child Tax Credits

If you are not married on 12/31, your filing status must be either “Single” or “Head of Household”. Head of Household status is reserved for those persons who have a qualifying child, and they pay more than ½ of the cost of keeping up the main home where that child resided for more the ½ of the year. There are two components of claiming children on taxes. First, who claims Head of Household status. Second, who can claim credits for children under current tax law. These are two different issues.

Let’s address the first – claiming Head of Household or Single status on your taxes. If you paid more than ½ of the cost of keeping up a home where your child lived (spent the most nights) more than ½ of the year, then you are the parent who has the right to claim the child. If you are unmarried that would be the Head of Household status. If you split custody 50/50 and you cannot agree with the other parent, then the highest earning parent can claim the status.

We are often asked if the couple has two children, can’t both parents claim, “Head of Household” and each take 1 child. The answer is yes – depending on the circumstance. Both parents would need to maintain a separate home and have at least one child living with them for more than 50% of the year (more nights). This is not customary with smaller children. As such, if both of your children spend more nights with one parent during a tax year, that parent, only, has earned and can claim Head of Household status.

As Head of Household, you can pay less tax with equal dollars than the filing status Single. The brackets for 2023 are below:

2023 Single Filer Tax Brackets

If taxable income is: The tax due is:

Not over $11,000 10% of taxable income

Over $11,000 but not over $44,725 $1,100 plus 12% of the excess over $11,000

Over $44,725 but not over $95,375 $5,147 plus 22% of the excess over $44,725

Over $95,375 but not over $182,100 $16,290 plus 24% of the excess over $95,375

Over $182,100 but not over $231,250 $37,104 plus 32% of the excess over $182,100

Over $231,250 but not over $578,125 $52,832 plus 35% of the excess over $231,250

Over $578,125 $174,238.25 plus 37% of the excess over $578,125

2023 Head of Household Tax Brackets

If taxable income is: The tax due is:

Not over $15,700 10% of taxable income

Over $15,700 but not over $59,850 $1,570 plus 12% of the excess over $15,700

Over $59,850 but not over $95,350 $6,868 plus 22% of the excess over $59,850

Over $95,350 but not over $182,100 $14,678 plus 24% of the excess over $95,350

Over $182,100 but not over $231,250 $35,498 plus 32% of the excess over $182,100

Over $231,250 but not over $578,100 $51,226 plus 35% of the excess over $231,250

Over $578,100 $172,623.50 plus 37% of the excess over $578,100

In addition to the extended tax brackets, the Head of Household status has a higher standard deduction than Single status. For 2023, the standard deduction for Head of Household is $20,800 while the standard deduction for Single is $13,850. These amounts are what you deduct (unless you are itemizing deductions which are higher than the standard deduction) from your income for calculating taxes.

The second part of having a child on your tax return is the Child Tax Credit. The Child Tax Credit follows the child. The custodial parent (where the child lived more than 50% of the time) is the default person to claim the credit. This credit has limits. It is a partially refundable credit. You must have at least $2,500.00 of earned income to claim the refundable part of the credit and it is completely phased out for individuals earning more than $200,000.00. For divorcing parents, this can be moved from one parent to the other with the use of Form 8332. If you have just one child together, for example, you could agree to alternate years claiming the child tax credit on your respective returns. If you have multiple children, you might decide to divide them between the two of you. This way both parents can take advantage of the tax credit. Don’t forget that age matters. If you have a 10-year-old and a 5-year-old, the 5-year-old can be claimed for a much longer period of time. Whatever the two of you decide, it is important that parents formalize the agreement in their decree and follow this up with a Form 8332, Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent. This form can be used for the current or future tax years.

Who Qualifies for the Child Tax Credit?

You can claim the Child Tax Credit of $2,000 for each qualifying child who has a Social Security number that is valid for employment in the United States. To be a qualifying child for the 2023 tax year, your dependent generally must:

Be under age 17 at the end of the year
Be your son, daughter, stepchild, eligible foster child, brother, sister, stepbrother, stepsister, half-brother, half-sister, or a descendant of one of these (for example, a grandchild, niece or nephew)
Provide no more than half of their own financial support during the year
Have lived with you for more than half the year
Be properly claimed as your dependent on your tax return
Not file a joint return with their spouse for the tax year or file it only to claim a refund of withheld income tax or estimated tax paid
Have been a U.S. citizen, U.S. national or U.S. resident alien

You qualify for the full amount of the Child Tax Credit for each qualifying child if you meet all eligibility factors and your annual income is not more than $200,000 ($400,000 if filing a joint return). Parents and guardians with higher incomes may be eligible to claim partial credit. Also, dependents over the age of 17 could qualify for a $500 credit if certain conditions apply.

It is critical to consult with a tax advisor (licensed CPA or EA) who is familiar with tax claiming issues surrounding divorce. As an example of what can go wrong, read this article from Iowa State University dealing with a couple who thought they had the situation handled but the IRS disagreed, and the claim was disallowed. Keep in mind, the IRS and taxes follow federal laws and those as far as federal taxes are concerned, supersede your state divorce decree.

Where do you go from here?

At Divorce Strategies Group we help parents walk through the tax ramifications of who can claim which credit for children when parents divorce. We can also help with general financial guidance in the divorce whether you are an individual looking for guidance or a couple seeking neutral financial services to help get though the divorce in a more amicable fashion. Schedule your complimentary consultation today.

A Child Centered Divorce

June 28, 2022 By Melissa Provence, CDC, DCC

Most of our divorcing clients with minor children are worried first and foremost about how the divorce will affect their children. When starting the divorce process clients often ask how to best tell the children about the divorce, how to protect them from emotional trauma, and what a co-parenting relationship will look like going forward. Here are three things to consider when walking through a divorce with minor children.

Remember You Love Your Kids More Than You Hate Your Ex.

This shouldn’t be a hard concept to navigate – but when you get in the weeds in the divorce process, we find it often is. We remind our clients continually of this concept. It is especially difficult to remember in relationships where one spouse has been taken advantage of or is resentful at the other person. This is commonly seen in cases where the spouse has been unfaithful and/or where there has been financial abuse or neglect There will no doubt be a lot of compromise and tongue biting. Keep in mind this is not for your (ex-) partners benefit, it’s for your children.

Just because your marriage has ended, your relationship with your children as their parent has obviously not. During and after a divorce you may constantly have to remind yourself that your children are innocent bystanders of the divorce. They did not ask for this. They did not cause this. No matter what has transpired in the marriage, you must censor and self-edit your spoken words and reactions to your now ex or soon to be ex-spouse. It’s imperative that your kids never hear disparaging comments about their other parent. Your children unconditionally love both of you. When they are faced with bad mouthing and fighting, they can feel torn to pick a side. This would naturally cause distress to the children.

My cell phone photo of my ex-husband is a photo of my child with her father. It reminds me she has a dad who is a very different person to her than he is to me. It helps me put her above any feelings I may have regarding his past or present behavior. This is the best thing I can do for my child and for myself as well.

In divorce coaching we work on presenting one’s best self to our children. This includes walking through a parenting plan to set expectations and discuss fears/concerns. Further, the more my clients are aware of the choices they are faced with, the more they can emotionally prepare for mediation or litigation. In divorce cases involving minor children, knowledge absolutely is power!! Working with a divorce coach on what to expect and how to cope with the decisions you must make may save both you and your children a lot of emotional turmoil and fear.

Don’t Let the Divorce Influencing You Parenting Choices

As a coach and having been through my own divorce, I realize this can be hard. However, for the sake of your kids, it can’t be overlooked. If your gut reaction is to make the other parent pay for the situation you are in or trying to “make them see what they did” – it can really hurt your children (and you, and it just doesn’t work.)

Do you remember what it was like to parent your kids before your divorce? Were you working as a team at that point? That’s exactly how you should proceed now. Ultimately, you want your kids to feel loved and accepted at both houses. My clients are encouraged to process their emotions while looking out for the best interest of their children. This means overriding your hurt and frustration to make sound choices based on your children’s needs. As I mentioned, I’ve experienced this situation firsthand. For example, one rule my ex-husband and I put into place was that our children could decide to visit the other parent even if it didn’t fall on a visitation day. If the other parent agreed, we would make it happen. The one exception was that if the child was angry at either one of us, they wouldn’t use the other parent as an escape.

Can You Create a Better Life Now Than Ever Before?

My clients love this question because it allows for creating strategies for this new lifestyle, they now have the opportunity to focus on the kids without the other parent’s approval. There is one less person to take into account, clean up after, and compromise with on daily routines. This can lead to more quality time, establishing new parenting ideas, and even creating new traditions.

I’ve coached many clients who feel refreshed on their non visitation days. They often feel guilty for the break. Single parenting is hard work. You’re on the clock 24/7. There is absolutely no reason to feel bad about the need to decompress and enjoy time alone when the kids aren’t home. This actually helps you be a better parent when the kids do come home.

A child centered divorce isn’t easy. It’s about constant and consistent compromise, but you can do it! This is an effort that will pay off in the long run. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 50% of first marriages end in divorce. If or when you decide to remarry, and you choose someone who also had divorced parents, the failure rate goes up to 80%. Consider how intentionally creating a child centered divorce can and will affect your kids. You get to decide what kind of divorce legacy you and your ex-spouse are passing down.

For help navigating divorce with minor children please call us today to schedule a coaching consultation and look for more articles of navigating the emotional side of divorce at www.DivorceStrategiesGroup.com

Confidence in Conflict: Three Methods to Resolving Conflict Without Losing Your Cool

May 11, 2022 By Melissa Provence, CDC, DCC

In coaching we often suggest clients that they “keep Amy in the backseat” when you’re in a conflict. We are referring to your Amygdala. A tiny almond shaped structure in our brains. Although small, it is mighty. The amygdala controls the fight or flight response in our bodies and brains. Often it acts instinctually and without warning. This is especially true when dealing with a High Conflict Personality (HPC) partner. Our brain unconsciously takes over and we often respond in ways we normally wouldn’t. When we feel lack of control or vulnerability it’s nearly impossible to have thoughtful, well considered conflict resolutions.

There are methods to keep “Amy” in the backseat. Here are three communication tactics that can help you regulate, respond, and rise above conflict.

Regulate:

In divorce cases we see several physical responses that happen when we are faced feeling attacked. I want to focus on two that I see most often.

Approaching conflict with aggression. Aggressive communication is when you state your needs and leave little room for your partner to share theirs. Examples of aggressive communication would be an attempt to dominate the conversation, using humiliation, critical language, and “you” statements in an attempt to avoid your responsibility in the situation and negate feeling insecure about yourself. This method of communication is often seeing with HPC’s.

Fawning is a response that is very common, especially with clients that have suffered past trauma or suffer from PTSD. Fawning is a maladaptive survival response. It is ones need to avoid conflict at any cost. When a client is in a fawning response they often exhibit people pleasing behaviors, deny their truth for the sake of ending the conflict, and feel that they are unworthy and undervalued.

Approaching conflict with either response can is a recipe for disaster. One of you will surely walk away from the conflict feeling “less than”, unheard, and unloved. We can regulate our own physical reactions to regulate our bodies response to threats. Start with a deep breath. Taking a moment to center yourself and regulate your breathing can instantly change the bodies stress response. Take a break from the conflict, find a quiet place, and spend five minutes focusing on your breath, inhaling, and exhaling slowly. You are allowed to excuse yourself from the conversation. The conflicts you are trying to resolve did not develop overnight and they do not have to be resolved in an instant. When you feel your heart rate begin to rise and the walls feel like they are closing in, simply tell your partner you need a moment to gather yourself and acknowledge you will touch back on the topic when you are in control of your thoughts and emotions. There is absolutely no reason These simple tactics can you help you prepare for the response phase of the argument and knock it down to a discussion.

Reason:

Reasonable, well thought out responses to conflict help us to protect our mental health, self-worth, and sanity.

Now that you have taken a moment to gather yourself, it’s time to gather your thoughts. I encourage clients to take time to look at things from their partners viewpoint. Try to understand the issue and why it is so important to them. At times, the real reason may be convoluted by finger pointing and “you never” statements. For example, my client is angry that her husband forgot it was their anniversary.

She took time and made an effort to make him his favorite meal and buy him a card. How dare he not get her a gift? Is the issue the gift? Is it possible that the gift was the issue on the surface of the problem but really, she feels uncared for, unloved, and possibly unworthy? In true conflict, we must dig deeper to find the issue because it’s rarely floating on the surface of our relationships. Changing our perspective in turn changes our insight.

What if your partner can’t articulate the deeper issue? I suggest questioning them with curiosity. What are you upset about? Can you tell me why you feel like that? and my personal favorite, “what was your expectation of me in that moment?” Try not to interrupt them and stay on the actual issue at hand. Curious questioning does a few things. It gives your partner acknowledgement that you are open to listening and a willingness to let them articulate how they really feel. This can lead to a deeper understanding of their perspective, the opportunity to form a more informed opinion for yourself, and hopefully a resolution in the conflict itself.

How we respond to our partner can make or break the outcome of the conversation. You have the choice to respond in a non-confrontational manner once your partner has finished speaking. “I had no idea you felt that way, do you mind if I address this from my perspective?” or “I would like to avoid continuing to argue about this topic, how do we suggest we fix it?” The goal is to identify the issue, take responsibility only for our actions (if there is any), and stop the conflict cycle in its tracks.

Rise above:

“But Melissa, this just makes it seem like I’m being a pushover! By keeping my cool and not showing a reaction, the other person doesn’t know how much they have affected me with their words or actions.” This is precisely why these methods work. HCP’s are fueled by the ability to incite hurt, confusion, and lack of control on their target. If you have been with your partner for a while, they know exactly what buttons to push to get a reaction from you. They will rely on that pattern to gaslight, stonewall, and trigger you to get their desired outcome. How many times have you ended a conflict and come away questioning yourself, your involvement, and wondering if you really are at fault for the problem?

Let’s change that! By regulating your body’s reactions, thoroughly considering your responses, and responding without malice, you have taken all the control back and on your terms. You weren’t goaded into angry reactions and remorseful words that can’t be taken back. You maintained your dignity, bolstered your self-worth, and you can leave the conversation feeling good about who you are at your core.

This is not something you can learn overnight. High conflict relationships are volatile, and these methods must be practiced over time. After all, you are fighting your amygdala, its natural response, and it takes time to unlearn unhealthy communication. This is why so many of my clients continue with coaching even after divorce, particularly with co- parenting after divorce. These methods work and can be applied to any kind of conflict that needs resolution.

At Divorce Strategies Group, we offer mediation and coaching services for clients thinking about divorce, in the midst of divorce, and even co-parent coaching. If you can relate to this article, I’d love to talk to you. Complimentary Discovery Session’s can be booked directly through our website.

* If you are currently in a relationship and experiencing domestic violence, this article is not applicable. Please call/chat/text with an advocate by calling 800-799-SAFE or visit thehotline.org.

What is a Divorce Coach and How Can they Help You?

May 6, 2022 By Melissa Provence, CDC, DCC

[Are you waking up at 3:00 AM, feeling overwhelmed and panicked by the uncertainty of your future?

Questions and worries run through your mind? “Can I afford to get divorced?” “How do I tell my spouse our marriage it’s over?” “What about our kids?” “How do I tell them?” “How will I survive?” “Do I have to share my retirement savings?” “Do I need to lawyer up?” “What lawyer do I hire?”

The questioning can be endless and in a attempt to find answers, you start Googling. Taking the first steps in a divorce can be terrifying and overwhelming. In researching, something pops up about “Divorce Coaching.” Like almost everything else related to divorce, this is a new term for you.

What is a Divorce Coach?

A Divorce Coach is a trained mental health professional who shepherds you through your divorce. Divorce Coaches have unique expertise in divorce, co-parenting, parenting planning, child development, the impact of divorce on children, and all other issues related to divorce. Divorce Coaching is not therapy. Instead, coaches specialize in helping you emotionally cope with divorce before, during and after the process.

Is Divorce Coaching Right for Me?

For most people, the prospect of a divorce is an overwhelming life crisis. You need to make big decisions at a time when you are emotionally overloaded. The demands and decisions can be confusing. Divorce can require the time and energy of a full-time job (when a lot of women already have full time jobs and are full time moms). In the process, it can also be exhausting to get through each day especially when you are meeting with your legal team or financial advisors to discuss divorce related issues. You don’t know what steps you need to take, how you can figure it all out, or how long it will take. If this sounds familiar, then a Divorce Coach can help.

How Can a Coach Help?

A Divorce Coach can help you understand one of the first and most important decisions you will have to make. You will need to decide which of the divorce process options available to you will work best for your family: a do-it-yourself divorce, mediation, collaborative law divorce, or litigation. The process you choose will dramatically affect your outcomes and the process.

A Divorce Coach will walk the path with you, through the legal process you have chosen, to provide support and guidance when needed. Divorce coaches also offer post-divorce support, addressing issues like co-parenting, setting up a spending plan, and claiming your new life.

One of the first and most painful things you will have to do is talk to your children about the upcoming changes in your family. A Divorce Coach will help you (and often your spouse) structure and plan for this, telling your children what they need to know. The Coach will help you respond to their questions and concerns in age-appropriate ways.

A Divorce Coach will help you build or strengthen your skills to cope with your emotions, especially at meetings with professionals and your spouse. In addition, your Coach can help you develop and hold you accountable for implementing much needed self-care practices. This is critical as they can help you feel more grounded and help you cope during this time of life changes.

A Divorce Coach will help you begin to envision your life post-divorce, as a single parent and perhaps going back to work. The Coach will help you set goals and keep you accountable for them. This type of planning may influence your divorce negotiations. For example, if you need re-training to enter the workforce, this can be discussed as part of your divorce settlement.

Coaching will help you develop skills for the negotiations, which usually come after the information-gathering stage. With the help of your Coach, you will be clear about what is important to you in the final resolution. Identifying what matters most to you and where you can compromise is critical in divorce negotiations, and a Coach can help you do this with confidence.

Your Coach will help you understand and think through the many decisions you will be asked to make. A coach can help you feel brave, confident, and articulate in expressing what matters to you without being hijacked by emotions. This makes the process more efficient and cost-effective!

A Divorce Coach can help you build a new kind of parenting partnership relationship with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. A Coach can work with you to establish good communication, boundaries, and strategies for dealing with issues that inevitably arise.

A Divorce Coach provides a safe space to emotionally let go, vent, breathe and heal.

How Do I Find a Divorce Coach?

At Divorce Strategies Group we offer complimentary Discovery Sessions to discuss you and your situation. This introductory call with Divorce Coach Melissa Provence allows us to learn about you and pinpoint your immediate needs. Let’s talk!