From Resolutions to Real Goals
By Denise French, ABV, EA, CVA/MAFF, CDFA, CRPC
Feeling overwhelmed by your finances after divorce is incredibly common—especially at the start of a new year, when everyone seems to be talking about “goals” and “resolutions.” This is exactly why creating a simple, realistic financial fitness plan can be so powerful: it turns fear into structure and chaos into a routine you can live with.
Instead of asking, “Can I afford this?” in a panic every time you swipe your card, a spending routine lets you answer with calm confidence, because you already know what your month looks like. Here are 4 realistic goals to help you as you navigate January.
Goal 1: Design a “Good Enough” Spending Plan
Create a good enough monthly plan that fits your actual life
A simple framework:
- Cover must‑haves first: housing, utilities, food, transportation, insurance, minimum debt payments.
- Reserve a small, non‑negotiable amount for savings (even if it is tiny to start).
- Set a realistic limit for flexible areas like dining out, shopping, and extras.
Your plan is working if:
- You are not routinely panicking at the end of the month.
- You can keep food on the table, the lights on, and at least a small amount moving to savings or debt payoff.
It does not have to be pretty; it just has to be honest and repeatable.
Goal 2: Automate the Boring (and Important) Stuff
Sticking with a spending routine is much easier when you do not rely on willpower. Automation turns good intentions into habits.
Consider:
- Automatic bill pay for fixed expenses to avoid late fees and anxiety.
- Automatic transfers to savings each payday—even a small amount gets you in the habit.
- Automatic retirement contributions through your employer or IRA, if cash flow allows.
Automation means you do not have to remember to “be good” every month; your system quietly does the heavy lifting.
Goal 3: Add a Weekly “Money Date”
A routine works best when it has a regular check‑in. Think of this as your standing appointment with your financial fitness.
Once a week—same day, same time—set aside 20–30 minutes to:
- Look at your accounts and recent transactions.
- Compare spending to your plan (no judgment, just noticing).
- Make any needed adjustments for the week ahead.
This small, consistent touchpoint keeps you from drifting too far off course and lets you catch issues before they become emergencies.
Goal 4: Build in Grace, Not Guilt
The biggest reason financial routines fall apart is not math—it is shame. After divorce, it is easy to feel like you are “behind” or “bad with money.” That mindset makes every slip feel like failure.
Instead:
- Expect imperfect months: holidays, kids’ needs, car repairs, emotional weeks.
- When things go off track, gently ask, “What can I adjust for next month?” instead of “What is wrong with me?”
- Celebrate small wins: sticking to your plan one week, saving your first $1000, or finally understanding a statement you used to ignore.
- You are learning something new – take your foot off your neck and give yourself a hug and feel good about the steps you are taking.
Your financial fitness plan is not a punishment. It is a form of self‑care—proof that you and your future matter.
This year, your goal is not to become a different person overnight. It is to move from overwhelmed to organized with a spending routine that feels doable, kind, and aligned with the life you are building in this new chapter.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by all of this, we can help. We help with cash flow planning, investment placement, tax planning and estate preservation as a financial fiduciary looking after your needs.
We work with women during divorce through Divorce Strategies Group and after divorce through Intentional Wealth Partners.