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Divorce Strategies Group

Divorce Strategies Group

Denise French

  • Divorce Mediation
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    • Divorce Support Groups For Women
    • Divorce Support Groups For Men
  • Post-Divorce Transition
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mediation

Divorce Settlements Gone Wrong

October 23, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

John and Susan are very typical clients we see in our office regularly. They are educated. John makes a good living as an MBA who works downtown at a financial firm. Susan was a stay at home mom for a while but has a degree in marketing and has recently re-entered the work world. She currently makes a fraction of what John makes, but that is expected to grow over time. They are knowledgeable about what they own and what they owe. They, logically, assume dividing their estate will be simple. How many times have we heard; my divorce case is simple? While logically it may seem simple, it’s usually not in reality. In addition, tax issues may slant a 50/50 division into more of a 60/40 division – which can cause very hurt feelings a few months after the divorce. Their mediation in Texas could have gone very different ways.

Here is an example of a ‘simple’ divorce that proves to not be so simple and how this 50/50 division went very wrong.

hide assets in divorce

The Estate

John and Susan own the following:

Primary Home: $750,000 Value, Mortgage Balance $350,000 = Net Equity $400,000
Secondary, Vacation Home: $400,000 Value, No Mortgage
John’s 401k: $450,000
Checking & Savings: $50,000
Total Net Assets: = $1,300,000

financial audit of divorce settlement

Their Solution

Their kids are grown, and Susan determines that she cannot really afford the primary home on her own. So, John takes the primary home and Susan takes the secondary home. Susan is 53 and wants to stay close to their kids in Texas so she decides to sell the vacation home to purchase her own home. John initially decides to stay in the primary home for a few more years and then sell it down the road to downsize. This is the logical division of assets the couple decides to do:

John: Primary Home: $400,000 Net Equity
John: Half the 401k $225,000
John: Half the checking $25,000
John Total: $650,000

Susan: Secondary Home: $400,000 Net Equity
Susan: Half the 401k $ 225,000
Susan: Half the checking $25,000
Susan Total: $650,000

A perfect, 50/50 split right! No problem. This is simple. Well, it is on paper, but this 50/50 is really a 62/38 division after taxes.

The Reality

John decides he doesn’t want such a big house to upkeep, so he sells it right after the divorce is final. John sells the primary house for $760,000. He pays off the now $345,000 mortgage and pays 8.5% ($64,600) in closing costs and realtor fees for a net equity of $350,400. They purchased the house 10 years prior and put $300,000 down the home and added a pool for $50,000. His net cost basis in the home is $350,000. He has zero tax liability as he has $250,000 exemption as a single person.

Susan sells the vacation home and purchases a new residence for herself. She is only 53 so she is going to take advantage of the opportunity to withdraw funds from her spouses 401k in divorce without the extra 10% penalty, but she still owes tax on the withdrawal. She does this for a financial safety net while she re-establishes her career. Susan sells the secondary home for $405,000. She also has 8.5% in closing costs or $34,425. The property had been purchased for $170,000 and $30,000 was put into a new back patio so her basis in the home is $200,000. Susan assumes her gain of $170,575 is well under her personal exemption amount of $250,000. When tax time comes around the next year, her accountant looks at her with big eyes and breaks the bad news. The personal exemption is only applicable to a primary residence and you must live there for 2 years in order to use it. Since she didn’t, the entire $170,575 is taxable at 15% netting her $144,989. Let’s not forget, Susan doesn’t have the income that John has so she takes $100,000 of the 401k and moves it into cash and the other $125,000 she moves into an IRA for herself. The $100,000 is treated like ordinary income and taxable to her. She owes $28,000 in taxes off the 401k funds she took in cash.

This is what each party really kept in the divorce:

John: Primary Home: $350,400 Net Equity
John: Half the 401k $225,000
John: Half the checking $25,000
John Total: $600,400

Susan: Secondary Home: $144,989 Net Equity
Susan: Half the 401k $125,000 into an IRA plus $72,000 cash from the 401k, the remaining $28,000 goes to the IRS this year for taxes
Susan: Half the checking $25,000
Susan Total: $366,989

Total Tax Effected Estate: $967,389

The net effect is not a 50/50 – within one year of the divorce, given the withdrawals that were taken, they had a net tax effected estate of $967,389. John receives $600,400 or 62% while Susan receives $366,989 or 38%.

There are, typically, no do overs in the final estate division. If Susan had known what was going to happen with the primary home and the secondary home net of taxation – she may have not been so eager to agree to this in a mediation in Texas. Further, if she knew the tax ramifications of taking funds out of the 401k, she may have discussed taxation a little further before determining the 50/50 division or have asked for support of some kind to offset this taxation hit in today’s dollars. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst could have really helped uncover these issues before a Mediated Settlement Agreement was signed in mediation in Texas or before the divorce negotiations were finalized.

employer contributions

Your Reality

If you and your spouse are entering a do it yourself divorce, we commend you on trying to hash this out cooperatively rather than in a long, drawn out battle. However, it’s important to consult with professionals before signing anything. It is wise to review your estate division with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who can walk through financial pitfalls, such as taxation, in your divorce settlement. At Divorce Strategies Group we understand divorce financials, we understand divorce mediation in Texas, and we can help. Call us at 281-210-0057 or schedule a strategy session today to get started!

Filed Under: Dividing Property Tagged With: divorce, divorce lawyer, mediation, mediation in texas, texas divorce

Planning Your End Game: Divorce Mediation

June 7, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

Typically, if someone wants out of a marriage, you hire lawyers, dig up dirt, try to get all you can out of the estate and battle it out.  The lawyer’s role is to advocate for the spouse that hired them, with the goal of achieving the most favorable outcome for their client.  Divorce attorneys are the best people in the world when you need someone to fight for you!! We work with many and we love them.

But what if you don’t need to go to war?  What if you just need sound guidance through the process of dividing the estate and determining how to live in separate homes with your shared children?  What if you want to think through the issues instead of battling them out?  What if you and your spouse are divorcing but you are still levelheaded and talking to each other?  If this describes you, mediation for marriage dissolution may be an alternative to dueling it out in court for you.

Mediation as a venue for divorce is different.  A mediator is a neutral third-party who can interview each party, review relevant documents, and help both parties understand what is fair and realistic in their situation.  The goal of mediation is to help couples efficiently resolve issues that may be in conflict and eventually come to an agreement satisfactory to both parties.  The divorce mediator actively facilitates the negotiations, but the spouses have full control and authority over the decisions affecting their lives.  This can save time, money and emotional turmoil.

In our mediation process, couples have two choices: they may work with the mediator and hire one attorney for guidance and filings; or each party works with the one mediator and each party hires their own attorney.

In my own case, I hired an attorney as I wanted and needed legal guidance.  My former spouse and I worked together with the mediator to help divide our assets and determine what we do with our children.  My attorney reviewed everything before I signed it.  I had my own legal advocate under the structure of the mediation process which provided me with a level of comfort, safety and security.  My former spouse also chose to have an attorney review the documents prior to signing them.

happy

Planning Your End Game – The Kids

Far and away, this was first on the list of the many benefits of divorce mediation for me.  As a parent, I knew divorce was going to be tough.  It could have been even tougher on my kids.  However, we discussed our issues as parents, instead of litigants, which enabled us to outline the terms of our settlement, including time sharing and child support, so that we both stayed focused on what’s truly best for our children.

Let’s face it, like it or not, I still must have a parenting relationship with my children’s father.  There were times when I had to remind myself that I love my children more than I love my pride and chose not to use them as a weapon to hurt their Dad.  This can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if you’ve been deeply wounded in the relationship.

I was very concerned that my kids would think they caused the rift, that my son would think he had to take the role of dad to his younger sibling, or that either child couldn’t talk about their feelings with me.  The biggest gift for my children during the divorce process was being open to their questions, acknowledging their pain, and even when it was hard, have a civil parenting relationship with their dad.  They didn’t choose my divorce and neither did I.  Their father chose to leave so I have made the best out of a poor choice he made.  A large part of my ability to do this daily is because we chose to mediate our parenting schedules.  I would not fight over my children, make them suffer, or have a judge decide when I could and could not see my kids.  Mediation gave me the option of staying in control over my kids and their lives.

planning your end game – time

Planning Your End Game – Time

When you look at the choice of a divorce mediation versus traditional divorce, mediated divorces typically take significantly less time.  Typically, the traditional divorce process will take 6-12 months while the mediation process for divorce takes 2-3 months.

In mediation we had a set process and schedule.  We filed for divorce so the standing orders as my lawyer explained were in effect.  For me, this meant my bills were paid and life was ‘status quo’ for that time frame.  He lived in the guest bedroom and I kept the master bedroom in the same home during the process.  We shared our information with the one mediator, and she created a division plan.  We each met with her individually, so she knew what each of us wanted and needed, during and after the divorce.  We then met together with the mediator for our negotiation session where agreements were highlighted, and disagreements mediated.  We chose to include attorney’s in this session which meant at the end we had a binding, legal document.  Boom!  We were done with the uncertainty and the negotiations.  My former spouse then had a plan to move out, we divided our accounts, child support began, and my new life started.

In my case, I couldn’t get divorced fast enough.  Once my ex-husband told me he wanted to leave, he couldn’t have left soon enough.  The thought of waiting almost a year to get a divorce seemed unthinkable.  That meant a year in limbo with an uncertain future and no way to plan a new path for myself.  The state of Texas mandates a 60-day waiting period from filing for divorce until you can be divorced.  It was in those 60 days that we worked through the process.  By day 65, my mediation agreement had been signed, divorce papers were submitted into the court system, and I had started an entirely new chapter in my life.

divorce and your 401k

Planning Your End Game – The Cost

Divorce attorney retainers typically range from $3,500 to $10,000 per person.  So, if you work with lawyers in traditional litigation, you’re looking at spending a minimum of $7,000 to $20,000 of the family’s estate for your divorce case initially and that’s just the beginning.  The cost of divorce only goes up from there, especially if disagreements and court encounters ensue.

If you use mediation, you can potentially save thousands on your divorce.  The typical cost of a mediated divorce in our office, for a family can range from $7,000 to $14,000 including attorney’s fees.  For my family, mediation cost us money, but it was a fraction of what we could have spent in the traditional litigation process.  The typical traditional, litigated divorces we see in our office today cost the families anywhere from $15,000 to over $100,000.  The price of this battle can be staggering.  I didn’t want that for my family.

I had been a stay at home mother for 12 years, whereas my ex-husband was a 6-figure earner.  I was fortunate enough during our marriage to stay home with my kids and support him in his growing career.  The problem was when we separated, I had no college degree, no formal training and a 12-year gap on my resume.  Even with a full-time job, I could not afford to stay in my home, pay for after school childcare, or even afford my car payment.  I was terrified of spending all of our savings in litigation, being awarded half of whatever was left over, and still having to uproot my kids to live somewhere more cost-effective.  This was a very large contributing factor to why I chose mediation.

Collaborative Divorce Houston

Planning Your End Game – Your Future

The process of mediation allowed both of us to be fully empowered by educating us on how to handle child rearing, separation or dissolution of assets, future expenses, and other issues.  During emotional upheaval, there is the temptation for me to just let someone else handle it.  Fortunately, I knew I could not do this with my future and with my children.  As we worked together with our mediator, we both felt heard, understood, and responsible for every aspect of our divorce.

As my lawyer explained Texas divorce, I was distraught to learn the laws in Texas really didn’t protect a stay at home parent.  I had spent 12 years as a stay at home mom, built a family, and helped build my ex-husband’s career.  What was the judge going to give me for it?  Pretty much nothing, in my opinion.  I soon realized that there was no way that I could have maintained our current lifestyle or household for more than a few months with 50% of our assets.  I would have had to sell our home, sell my car, and go into debt to support my children on what I would be earning at a full-time job that didn’t require a degree.  My ex-husband, conversely, would be able to maintain his current lifestyle, earn six figures and continue to advance his career.  The tables were very much tipped in his favor and I felt that it was completely unjust.  My mediator helped me make a plan that helped me build my future.  This changed everything for me.

options for the divorce process

Divorce Mediation in Texas

Now that you know a little more about mediation and how it works, you have more information to help you decide what the best choice is for your family.  Divorce is common but you’ll soon learn that each divorce is unique.  If your goal is to divorce amicably, maintain a good parenting relationship with your soon to be former spouse, and not spend a small fortune, mediation may be for you!

For divorce mediation in Texas, contact Divorce Strategies Group.  We offer a variety of services and options in a range of prices for you and your needs.  Continue to visit us at www.DivorceStrategiesGroup.com for helpful articles and bits of information on divorce finance and mediation.  We also offer one free 30-minute consultations to anyone facing or considering divorce.  Contact us to schedule your complimentary consultation today!

Filed Under: Alternative Dispute Resolutions Tagged With: divorce, mediation, texas

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