• Home
  • Divorce Mediation
  • Divorce Consulting Expert
  • Coaching
    ▲
    • Co-Parenting Coaching
  • All Services
    ▲
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Divorce Mediation
    • Divorce Consulting Expert
    • Divorce Support Groups For Men
    • Divorce Support Groups For Women
    • Divorce Coaching
    • Co-Parenting Coaching
    • Post-Divorce Transition Support
    • For Attorneys
      ▲
      • Business Valuation Services
      • Forensic Accounting
      • Collaborative Divorce
      • Denise French
      • Shelli Dodson
  • Blog
  • About
  • Work With Us
    ▲
    • Contact
    • Schedule An Appointment
    • Pay Now
  • Post Divorce Transition Support
    ▲
    • Men’s Support Group
    • Women’s Support Group
    • Community Services
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

281-505-8177
CONTACT US

SCHEDULE A
FREE CONSULTATION

Contact Us: 281-505-8177

Divorce Strategies Group

Divorce Strategies Group

Denise French

  • Divorce Mediation
  • Divorce Financial Advisor
  • Coaching
    • Divorce Coaching
    • Co-Parenting Coaching
  • All Services
    • Divorce Mediation
    • Divorce Financial Advisor
    • Divorce Support Groups For Men
    • Divorce Support Groups For Women
    • Divorce Coaching
    • Co-Parenting Coaching
    • Post-Divorce Transition Support
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • For Attorneys
      • Business Valuation Services
      • Forensic Accounting
      • Collaborative Divorce
  • Work With Us
    • Contact
    • Schedule An Appointment
    • Pay Now
  • For Attorneys
    • Business Valuation Services
    • Forensic Accounting
    • Denise French
    • Shelli Dodson

Five Signs of Financial Infidelity

August 26, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

Marriage is challenging in many different ways but adding dishonesty to the mix can be disastrous. Trust is at the foundation of any good relationship and erosion of trust will destroy a marriage at record speed. What usually comes to mind when we talk about infidelity is the cheating spouse who’s taken a lover. But there’s another, more subtle and potentially even more devastating infidelity that is often overlooked.  Financial infidelity can show up in a wide variety of ways and can range from minor offenses like that credit card he doesn’t know about to far more serious deceptions like filtering money to family members over many years to siphon off a personal nest egg from marital assets.

How do you recognize when it’s happening to you? Here are five signs that you should watch for.

#5 – You Haven’t Seen Bank Statements or Financial Documents in Years

NEVER let one spouse handle all the finances without meeting monthly to go over your balance sheet and goals. This is the perfect opportunity to get yourselves on the same financial team! If you’ve never done this, there is no better time to start than NOW! If you ask and the “keeper of the finances” gets nervous, procrastinates, or doesn’t want to meet with you, major red flag!

financial infidelity

#4 – Unexplained Mood Changes

Is your spouse becoming easily agitated? Do they pop off with anger or display impatience that is out of proportion to the event? Financial turmoil causes stress! And that stress will reveal itself! In Part 1 of this series, you might recall the situation I described where the husband had whittled away two million dollars in savings over 10 years. The wife described an increasingly angry man who was very defensive about any perceived shortfalls in his behavior. He started a pattern of explaining himself in every little situation as though he were convincing himself that he was a “good guy”. He also became more and more withdrawn. When she would ask about anything related to their finances, he would bite her head off with things like, “Stop nagging me! I’ve got it under control! What are you worried about?”

#3 – A Lifestyle That Doesn’t Match Earnings

Is your spouse a highly paid professional but you haven’t had a decent vacation in years? Does he/she have a Mercedes job but drives a Honda and insists you do the same? Are you on an “allowance,” but your spouse is not? Do you have to ask permission for every purchase? All of these are indicators of financial infidelity and shouldn’t be tolerated in a mutually respectful marriage. It’s reasonable to have a money plan with budgets and goals. But if you are forbidden from monitoring and enjoying the fruits of your frugal lifestyle, it’s another red flag.

#2 – Car Insurance Rates Go Up

If you get a letter from your insurance company notifying you that your auto insurance rates are going up due to a change in your rating, this could be a loud indicator that the other spouse not only has credit cards you don’t know about but isn’t making the payments on time either.

financial infidelity

#1 – Mail Stops Being Delivered

If you notice that a Southwest Visa credit card statement comes every month and always has and then it stops, or if the online passwords are no longer working when you decide to look at the bills, beware. Ask about it, of course, but a very common method of financial deception is to have bills sent to the office or a relative’s, so they aren’t discovered. If you have gone digital, you should have access to passwords and take a look at those bills and balances regularly.

These things are no fun to deal with and I’ve seen this type of behavior ruin one marriage after another. When it comes to money, honesty is always the best policy – especially between spouses. Have a conversation with your mate today and be sure you’re both on the same page.

If you feel you are headed for divorce and unsure of what that might mean for you financially call us for a financial strategy session.  We will help you start in the right direction.

 

Filed Under: Divorce Finance Tagged With: CDFA professionals, finances

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • High Stakes, High Net Worth:
  • Why Choose Mediation Instead of Court?
  • New Year New You: Three Resolutions Worth Making
  • Texas Divorce Mediation
  • Back to School Basics for Busy Co-Parents

Recent Comments

    Archives

    • January 2023
    • December 2022
    • August 2022
    • June 2022
    • May 2022
    • January 2022
    • June 2021
    • May 2021
    • April 2021
    • March 2021
    • February 2021
    • January 2021
    • December 2020
    • November 2020
    • October 2020
    • September 2020
    • August 2020
    • July 2020
    • June 2020
    • May 2020
    • April 2020
    • March 2020
    • February 2020
    • January 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2019
    • August 2019
    • July 2019
    • June 2019
    • May 2019
    • April 2019
    • March 2019
    • February 2019
    • January 2019
    • November 2018
    • August 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • April 2018
    • February 2018
    • January 2018

    Categories

    • Alternative Dispute Resolutions
    • Dividing Property
    • Divorce Coaching
    • Divorce Finance
    • Divorce Support
    • Family & Children
    • Mediation
    • Uncategorized

    Meta

    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.org

    Footer

    Copyright © 2023 - All Rights Reserved | Web Design by The Crouch Group | Log in