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Divorce Strategies Group

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Denise French

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business valuation

Ten Financial Pitfalls for Women in Divorce

January 4, 2021 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC

During divorce, many women are concerned about financial survival—and with good reason. Studies show after divorce, the wife’s standard of living may drop almost 73% while the husbands may increase by as much as 42%.  Many factors combine to lower a women’s standard of living after divorce. Child support may not be adequate to cover the true costs of child rearing, and she might have lost many important years of career growth, making it difficult for her to get back on her feet after divorce.  By familiarizing yourself with the ten financial pitfalls of divorce for women, you can save yourself a lot of heartbreak and hassle in the future.

1. Believing you cannot afford an experienced attorney 

Divorces are expensive.  There is no doubt.  The fees involved for a regular divorce with a qualified attorney are expensive – attorney fees, therapist bills, new living expenses and other advisor fees. Further, the funds previously used to support one household must now stretch to support two. If you are contemplating divorce, now is the time to begin amassing the funds you’ll need to stay afloat.  Think of a divorce as a long term financial cost and plan accordingly before you file or when you first start to believe you spouse may be checking out of the marriage.

If you are not able to save cash for the divorce process, you still have the ability to hire good support for yourself.  You can open a credit card in your name alone, while you are married, and use the marital income to qualify for a card.  That card can be used for divorce related costs and at the end of the divorce, it is placed on the marital inventory as a debt of the marriage.  You have power!! Contact Divorce Strategies Group on this topic and we will walk you through what to do.

2. Bad timing

Divorce is a marathon event which requires careful preparation. Before you act on the divorce, consult with legal and financial professionals, and read about the subject. Also, think about where you are in life. Did you or your spouse just start a business?  Are you or your spouse just about to go back to school for a graduate degree and amass student debt?  Life stages like this may cause you to pause on the divorce or act quickly before major community debt amasses.  If you’ve been married eight years or just hit the nine year mark and your spouse is the major breadwinner, you might want to stick it out a little while longer before you file for divorce.  In order to collect on your ex-spouse’s social security you must be married for at least 10 years from the date of marriage to the actual date of divorce.   Finally, don’t just pack up and drive away in a car  needing major repairs with old clothes on and kids who need braces.  Fix what you need fixed, buy what you want to buy and get your kids situated with what they need before you leave, as much as possible.

3. No records

The three most important words during divorce are: document, document, document. Try to obtain copies of all financial records before your divorce begins. Make a clear copy of all tax returns, loan applications, wills, trusts, financial statements, banking information, brokerage statements, loan documents, credit card statements, deeds to real property, car registration, insurance inventories, and insurance policies. Also, copy records you can use to trace your separate property, such as an inheritance or gifts from your family. The corpus and the capital appreciation of these assets should remain your separate property as long as you can document them. Copies of your spouse’s business records can be a treasure map illustrating where hidden assets, if any, are buried.

4. Overlooking assets

Texas is a community property state. That means every dollar earned during the marriage belongs equally to each spouse. It matters not that the income went into your bank account, a business, a 401k or a second home – those funds belong to each spouse.  Half of everything is yours! Even if you don’t want an asset, it can be used to trade for something you do want. Inventory safe deposit boxes; track down bank and brokerage accounts; keep pay stubs, retirement plans, and insurance policies. Don’t overlook hobbies or side businesses that might have expensive equipment or generate income.

5. Ignoring tax consequences

Tax consequences are one of the most overlooked or forgotten issues in divorce finance. Most financial decisions have tax ramifications.  Should you take the brokerage account or the retirement plan? Should you keep the house or sell it now? Don’t ignore the hidden tax costs of divorce in making these decisions. Your situation may require some calculation by an accountant or divorce financial planner to determine if you are really getting the best deal. And, if there is a chance your past joint tax returns omitted income or overstated deductions, you may want to seek an indemnification clause to protect yourself if the IRS decides to audit.

6. Thinking ignorance is bliss

During divorce ignorance is not bliss, it’s expensive. As painful as it may be, diving in and participating in the process can help you recover more quickly from the divorce because you will have a healthy sense of control over the process, be focused on practical things, and be working with your ex to get things done. Also, taking an active role in the negotiations can help you achieve a better settlement.  You will also likely have less conflict and litigation after the divorce, better compliance from your ex, and better sharing of information about the children. Your attorney will give you valuable legal advice which should weigh heavily into your decision making process, but all of the decisions are ultimately up to you.

7. Mixing money and emotion

This is really tough for women who were hurt during the divorce, however, it is crucial. Try to think of this from an unemotional, business like perspective.  This is likely the largest business transaction you will make in your life – treat it as such.  View your attorney as a paid professional rather than a friend or confidante. When your grief is overwhelming, go to a friend or support group, not to your attorney, who is billing you at his or her normal hourly rate. In addition, revenge is not helpful in long term planning and financial negotiations.  It will not make you happy to declare war on your ex – it will likely just make you broke. Making the effort to bring the divorce to a successful conclusion with as little rancor as possible can help you financially today and in the future.

 8. Not fighting for what’s legitimately yours

Divorce negotiations are not only about survival; they are about molding your long term financial future. It’s important to not let wanting to please others or look like “the good girl” get in the way of taking what is legitimately due you. You have to insist on getting what you legally deserve. Even if you hope you will eventually be able to reconcile with your ex, it is not guaranteed (you are getting divorced after all). Letting him keep all of his 401k because he’s worked so hard could put you in the poor house when you are older while he enjoys a great life.  No matter your feelings, stand up for yourself and get your legal share. If you reconcile, that’s fine. If you don’t, you’ll still be able to take care of yourself financially.  Taking what is rightfully yours (50% at least) is not being greedy, it is protecting your future and honoring your own value as a human being. No matter what your spouse says, you are worth it!

9. Taking the payment overtime versus the lump sum

Receiving a guaranteed, monthly, court ordered income sounds great doesn’t it? Yes, but what if your spouse loses his job? Becomes disabled? Quits his job and moves overseas to work? What if he just stops paying? What if his industry goes through 2 years of consolidation and he is laid off time and time again? What if he starts his own business?  We feel like getting a lump sum is much better than a series of payments – court ordered or not. If he stops paying the court ordered support, guess what you have to do to get him to pay it again? Yes, go back to court.  At some point, those court costs can be more than what you would get from him in the first place.  Take the up-front money instead of the income when given a choice.  You can create your own income stream for that lump sum payment or use it for other financial needs in the future.

10. Not getting good professional advice

Right now, you need all the help you can get! Divorce can be very complicated, so don’t try to do it all yourself. Hire an attorney who can give you excellent advice—even if he or she is expensive. Engage a divorce financial advisor to help you make wise financial decisions and create a roadmap for your future. Find a good therapist to help you emotionally. Don’t skimp now on matters which will affect the rest of your life.

Schedule a 30 minute complimentary consultation today to discuss your specific situation or call us at 281-505-8177 to discuss your concerns.

Filed Under: Divorce Finance Tagged With: #divorce recovery group, #divorcemediation, #divorcesupport, attorney, business valuation, CDFA professionals, divorce, divorce attorney, Divorce Coping Tools, divorce lawyer

Lets Just Live Together

February 2, 2020 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

We have 5 children in our blended family and now the first of them is about to hit his 20’s and looking for Mrs. Right, I’m concerned!!! Millennials and Generation Z young adults could be the first generations of children-of-divorce. By 1983, all but 2 states had adopted no-fault divorce laws and over the next decades, the divorce rate rose to our now norm of about 50%. That resulted in many of those kids watching their parents’ divorce and suffering the emotional consequences that often accompany that. When you really consider the early years, there were few resources available to couples and families on how to go through the process in the most humane way. But let’s face it, even with the resources today, there are still plenty of ugly divorce tales out there.

So, for a lot of these kids, as they grow past their 20’s and into their 30’s, a very interesting trend is persisting. The divorce rate, the number of divorces per marriages, continues to rise but the actual number of divorces each year is dropping steadily. Why is this? Because young people are not getting married! They are choosing instead to be in serially monogamous, long-term relationships, often including children and joint home purchases, but forgoing the tradition of a recognized marriage. I understand. They don’t want to go through what their parents went through so the heck with marriage! However, the result of this when life doesn’t go as planned can be disastrous. No burden of marriage also means no protections of marriage.

Consider this: Josh and Beth have been together 4 years and decide to have children. They agree that Beth will stay home and care for the kids while Josh finishes his degree and works nights to support the family. Once he’s done and gainfully employed, the kids will be a little older and Beth will then go back to school and finish her degree.

Well, life happens, and three years into this fabulous plan, Josh is about to graduate and drops the bombshell on Beth that he’s been having an affair with a fellow student. He’s in love and just can’t go on like this. He’ll be a good dad to their children but he’s leaving her. (Didn’t see it coming, did you?) Oh, and by the way, last year they bought a home but since Beth had no income, they didn’t want her low credit score to drag down their interest rate, so the house and mortgage are in Josh’s name.

So, what’s Beth entitled to?  She’s like entitled to child support. The house was purchased by Josh and now that Josh is about to finish school and have a great job he can move on with his life in house. But they had plans! They had an agreement and she sacrificed her education to pay for his! Too bad. Had they been married, she could have been entitled to half the equity in the home, possible reimbursement for half of his education expenses and a portion of anything they acquired during the marriage. But boy, isn’t she lucky that she doesn’t have to go through a divorce? Josh kicked her out a week later and she and the kids had to move home with her parents.

Now, Texas does recognize common law marriage, but you will likely need an attorney to determine if you are married or not. What does that mean for Josh and Beth? It means Beth hires an attorney to prove they were married while Josh hires an attorney to prove they were not – after they fight about being married or not they then go on to fight over the house, the debt, the kids and anything else they own. What does that sound like? It sounds like the litigated divorce the parties set out to avoid in the beginning by not legally saying “I Do”.

This is SO REAL!! We highly encourage young people who wish to cohabitate take the time to visit an attorney to walk through the legal ramifications of this prior to moving in together. A simple Cohabitation Agreement can change many things. There are free ones available all over the internet or you can visit a family law attorney for more specific advice pertaining to your set of facts. Never move in with someone without one! It could end up saving you your entire financial life.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 401k, alimony, attorney, business valuation, co-parenting, divorce, divorce attorney, Divorce Coping Tools, divorce mediation, finances, mediation in texas, texas divorce, visitation

Advice for Divorcing Men: Common Mistakes in Divorce and How To Avoid Them

September 16, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

What’s a man to do? You’ve decided to divorce and now you are finding that there are multitudes of services that cater to helping women during a divorce. Granted, we still live in a society where the more-likely scenario is that the husband has handled the finances during the marriage and the wife needs a little more hand-holding. But this is not always the case and men can struggle to find the resources they need.

Even if you have handled your family finances for the entire marriage, you still need to be sure you understand your financial options as well as your legal ones. With the help of the right financial expert, you’ll find there are still some helpful tax laws that can make a creative and amicable settlement very appealing. The following are some common mistakes in divorce to avoid that, in my experience, has saved lots of money for my clients!

common mistakes in divorce

Mistake #1: Thinking that the assets are all yours because she didn’t work.

Oh, this is so hard!! You have fought rush hour traffic, dealt with stressful deadlines, clients and bosses. You’ve hired and fired people. You may have enabled your wife to stay at home and raise your children (and maybe play tennis with her friends). You have contributed a lot!! However, and this is hard, it’s not all your money. Texas is a community property state which means that half of every dollar that enters the house via income during the marriage belongs to you and half belongs to her – no matter if it went into the house, the bank, the 401(k) or any other asset. It’s a marital property issue. Even if you begged your wife to get an outside job for years and years and years and she just refused. Grab a beer with your buddies, bark about it (I understand) but in the end, it is what it is. The more you fight that the more you are going to waste money.

common mistakes in divorce

Mistake #2: Making promises too soon.

One of the most common mistakes in divorce is making promises too soon. I see this so often. DO NOT MAKE PROMISES BEFORE YOU KNOW THE FACTS!! She will hold you to them until her last dying breath even if they are unreasonable, unjust and even unattainable. Do not tell her you will give her anything until you know the law, your rights, her rights and your living arrangements/budget post-divorce. Do not, out of guilt, tell her you will financially take care of her for the rest of her life and make sure she is okay because she will remember that, and it will be brought up again and again. You are also hindering your wife more than helping her by promising things you cannot or will not keep. If you have children, you are going to co-parent for the rest of your lives. Don’t start that post-divorce parenting relationship by promising things you cannot or will not deliver. It hurts her and it hurts you. Don’t do it.

Mistake #3: Refusing to give up retirement accounts.

A lot of times, men get emotionally attached to pensions and retirement plans and will negotiate a settlement that lets them keep those assets. I understand it is a reward you’ve earned for a lifetime of hard work. But remember, both pensions and retirement assets are taxable income when you receive them. If you are earning significantly more money than your spouse for most of your life, chances are you will always be in a higher tax bracket than her. Take advantage of this fact and give her the ENTIRE settlement in retirement assets adjusted for HER tax rate instead of yours. This strategy has saved couples that I work with tens of thousands of dollars in taxes and they get to share in the benefit.

man bullying woman

Mistake #4: Being a bully.

Our society has come a long way on how we regard bullying. Even with that knowledge, fear can show up in the negotiation process as anger and I see lots of men that make the mistake of thinking that being angry will strengthen their case. Gentlemen, it’s just a bad, bad idea. You’re both scared. Make sure that you work with a CDFA® practitioner, or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® practitioner that will incorporate future financial planning into your settlement negotiations and everyone’s fears can be addressed fairly.

Mistake #5: Not asking for help.

The last tip I have for you is to realize that you don’t know what you don’t know. Men are often motivated by saving money and will attempt to have a do-it-yourself divorce where they draw up their own paperwork. Bad, bad, bad idea. There are so many intricacies, both financial and legal, to the divorce process that you will save thousands of dollars by making sure that you cover all the bases the first time. At the very least, consult a professional to be sure your decree is enforceable.

common mistakes in divorce

At Divorce Strategies Group, we want to help EVERYONE in the divorce process to have a kinder, gentler, much more affordable process. Let us help you avoid those common mistakes in divorce. Book a strategy session to learn your next best steps.

Filed Under: Divorce Support Tagged With: alimony, business valuation, child support, co-parenting, custodial parent, divorce, divorce attorney, finances, spousal support

An Alternative for the Small Business Owner

July 8, 2019 By Denise French, CVA, MAFF, CDFA, CRPC Leave a Comment

[three_fourth_last]Unique challenges that other, regular W2 employees don’t have plague small business owners and divorce. A business owner’s divorce attorney (or their spouse’s divorce attorney) will often ask that a business valuation be completed. Not only is this another time-consuming item on the divorce check-list, but it’s an expense typically ranging between $7,500 – $20,000. The appraisal may take weeks if not months to complete and much information will be requested of the owner. This can be overwhelming to the business owner who is already exhausted due to the time, emotion and costs of the divorce itself.

Small Business Owners and Divorce

There is an alternative to the comprehensive business valuation report which can help the small businessperson save both time and money while providing the attorney with a reliable, third party number to use in mediation. This is the Calculation of Value Report. According to the National Association of Certified Valuation Analysts (NACVA), a Calculation Engagement occurs when the client and member agree to specific valuation approaches, methods, and the extent of selected procedures and results in a Calculated Value.

calculation of value report

What will a Calculation of Value Report include?

The calculation report will perform a deep dive into the financials of the company as any business valuation should. The report will be short, typically 6 – 8 pages and if conducted according to the standards of the NACVA it will include the purpose of the report, description, ownership size, nature, restrictions and agreements of the interest being valued as well as a calculation date and report date. It will include the scope of work, calculation procedures, hypothetical conditions/assumptions and the reason for their inclusion. It will include subsequent events which are considered and denote if reliance on a specialist was required. It will include a statement of the financial interest and whether or not the author is obligated to update the report. Finally, it will be signed by the valuation analyst who is responsible for providing the report.

The calculation report should show normalized financial schedules for the subject company. The owner’s compensation, as well as other balance sheet and income statement non-recurring items, should be reviewed, researched and normalized. The company documents including financials, tax returns, corporate documents, buy-sell agreements and other articles of incorporation should be reviewed. An interview with the owner will still need to be conducted, although they are usually done remotely via a zoom meeting or facetime on a smart-phone. The calculation report will also include any discounts for lack of control if the owner is not the sole owner and discounts possibly for lack of liquidity.

Typically, two of the three approaches will be used whether it is the Asset Approach usually using the Adjusted Net Assets Method, the Income Approach using either the Capitalization of Earnings or the Discounted Cash Flow Method and/or the Market Approach typically using the Guideline Public Company Method showing both the Seller’s Discretionary Earnings Multiple and the Revenue Multiple. The financial schedules showing the numbers will be included in the report as well as a list of the sources of information utilized to derive the calculated value.

calculation of value report

When would the Calculation of Value Report be appropriate?

These reports are often used in mediation. They provide a way to save time and expense as they are produced in a shorter time period and cost less than a full conclusion of value report. We offer these reports for a flat rate between $3,500 – $5,000. A word of caution, these reports may not be accepted by the courts but can be morphed into a full report if court becomes a necessity.

Overall, this is a way to save time and expense while providing a calculated value of the subject company based off its historic, current and expected financials.

Small Business Owners and Divorce Services

Please look around our website and blog pages at www.DivorceStrategiesGroup.com for helpful information regarding small business owners and divorce finance or to schedule a consultation to discuss how we can help you with the financials of your divorce.

Filed Under: Dividing Property, Divorce Finance Tagged With: business valuation, divorce attorney

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